My 1-on-1 template

Checkins with team leads and engineers

Hello there 👋

What follows is a template I use for my 1-on-1s with team leads and engineers. I’ve found it to be a good way to keep the conversation focused and productive.

Important things to remember 🧠

• never cancel a 1on1. Start with a soft opener, you both have something to learn
• its not about you (the manager), its about the person you’re talking to
• its not a status check
• someone has to learn something knew. If the conversation is not flowing, talk about a current disaster.
• the goal is always to build trust

The basics 📚

Same time each week (or other week). When you become a leader or a manager you are automatically perceived as busier. Whether or not this is true is irrelevant. You should consistently make time for that 1:1 at the same time on the same day. This will signal to the team that you are there for them - no matter how busy.

Never cancel. You might actually be busy - running from meeting to meeting, emergency to emergency. It’s sooo easy to deprioritize 1on1s as a 1:1 does not represent something urgent - a problem that needs solving. BUT every time that you cancel a 1:1, you signal to the team: YOU DO NOT MATTER.

30min or more. Having a meaningful conversation with anyone takes time. It’s an easy move to have 15min check-ins, but honestly your reports don’t work for you, you work for them. If they all left tomorrow - how much would you really get done? So take the time. Listen!

What to expect 🤔

Usually you can expect one of 3 things to happen in a 1on1:

• an update (status, project, etc)
• a vent (I need to look into something)
• a disaster (Hold on for dear life)

The update This one is the most common and is the usual response you’ll get from engineers in the first 3 minutes - and that’s OK. Your only job now is to listen. Find something new in the lines said, that is not a status report and discuss that. The goal is to learn something new.

The vent You know you have a vent coming on as there is usually a period of silence before you get a response. Don’t confuse this for a conversation - the other person want to be heard. So dont interrupt, just listen. All vents have a conclusion. When this happens begin your triage.

You might also have a misfortune that a vent is actually a rant - in that case you cannot help.

The disaster When a vent turns into something else. You’ll feel it a bit personally, like an attack. Your only job now is to show no emotion, just be quite. This should defuse the situation. Success is traversing the emotional exchange. remember: a disaster is 100% the result of poor management and/or neglect. Your engineer thinks that loosing their shit is the only way of making a change.

The template (I never used all of them, depending on the conversation) 📜

• How are you doing? / What’s up? <- a very soft opener. Always open with a soft ball
• How is your crew doing. Anything you are missing? <- for team leads
• What have you been doing since last 1:1 and what would you like to have been doing? Is there something you enjoyed in particular? Can we do something to align better?
• What is the highest priority right now? Do you need my help with that?
• How do you feel the atmosphere is in the team? Any conflicts?
• How do you perceive the stress level you are facing?
• Do you have feedback for me, anything I could do more/less/stop? <- this is a neat psychological trick. As in time even the most introverted will start asking about feedback for themselves.

If there is silence 🤐

You can always fall back on one of these:

• prepared topics that have showed up during the week about your team. Ask for an opinion or advice.
• Mini performance review. It’s not actually a performance review but touch base on how’s it going.
• Explain your current disaster. As a manger chances are you always have some issues going around. By sharing these there is always a chance of learning something new.